😠Friday Rant: The hollow Procurement Influencer

😠Friday Rant

THE CHATGPT FUELED PROCUREMENT INFLUENCER / PROCUREFLUENCER

I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. I never really wanted to, but after this week I HAVE to.

Procurement is always later than others. Whether it’s new methods or digitalization, year after year surveys show that Procurement is slow to adapt to new technologies. It was therefore only a matter of time before Procurement got its swarm of Procurement Influencers. They call themselves ProcureFluencer, Raven, Maven, ProcurementQueen, but almost all of them feel that they are THOUGHT LEADERS.

If mediocrity had a mascot in the world of Procurement, it would be this self-declared “influencer.” Honestly, watching this person try to teach Procurement on LinkedIn is like watching someone read the glossary of a third-rate textbook and thinking they’ve discovered fire.

Every post is the same recycled gem: “Procurement is not the same as Purchasing!” Wow. What an insight. What a revolution. Someone alert the CPOs of the world they’ve been doing it wrong until now. Never mind that this “influencer” has rarely made it past the Buyer level or held any role that required actual delivery.

No, no why let experience get in the way of a good post?

Experience: You mean like leading a global category, driving transformation, building an actual team, or owning a P&L? No, no, an influencer is far too strategic for that. They wisely hop jobs every 18-24 months before any real accountability or delivery is required. Never led a team of significance, never built a function, and never stuck around long enough to face the consequences of their own „strategy decks“.

Why bother building a lasting impact when you can build a personal brand instead?

But the real magic? The Canva explosions. Bright, AI-generated slides shouting things like “VALUE > COST” or “PROCUREMENT = STRATEGIC.” The kind of graphics that make your eyes bleed and your brain sigh. Truly, nothing says “expert” like dumping ChatGPT quotes onto pastel backgrounds and pretending it’s an original thought.

And where are the war stories? The tough lessons? The supplier disasters turned into recovery? Nowhere. Because you can’t share what you’ve never lived. But you can reword Gartner articles, steal HBR headlines, and pretend you’re a “transformational leader” from the comfort of your keyboard. Talk big, stay vague, quote a McKinsey chart (without the context), and throw in some “digital transformation” buzzwords.

Let’s not forget the #StrategicProcurement #NextGenSourcing #DigitalExcellence because adding corporate jargon magically covers the lack of experience & substance.

The Procurement Influencer: a loud voice, a hollow résumé, and graphics that could trigger migraines in a kindergarten teacher. The emperor of empty Procurement wisdom parading in fluorescent, ChatGPT-stitched robes.

Follow at your own risk!

Source Graphic: of course not ChatGPT but Copilot